DOMA is Down

So the news has hit Asia and I can't help but feel both ecstatic and sad at the same time. Defence of Marriage Act has officially been repelled by the United States Supreme Court, sweeping over two-decades of institutional discrimination away in one sweeping move. Even better, widespread public and political support of the measure means that it is unlikely the United States legislature will ever be able to get another federal law like this one onto the books.

My Facebook and Gmail Inbox has been brimming with congratulations, explosions of happiness and lengthy declarations of support. However all have been coloured with the same running theme...

Now you can come home...

Yes, the chances for us to return to the United States as a couple protected under the law instead of separate beings subjected to discrimination and different rules designed to separate us, has just been increased by leaps and bounds.

Are we going to be boarding a plane right now and heading back to the States... no...

Unfortunately, I am one of thousands of Americans who when given the choice between being separated from their foreign-born significant other or going abroad with them, I chose abroad to stay with the man I loved. The mass exodus of bi-national LGBT-couples returning is not going to happen tomorrow, it can't... because while we'd love to return to grand ole' America, we are also Human beings... we have jobs, homes, bills and uprooting that all, picking up everything and returning them to the States is not something that can be done lightly and not without an immense amount of forethought.

Yes, I left the country very abruptly but we can consider that fortune of destiny. I had just left a job with a start up I really wasn't enjoying (I was running the fine line between over-worked and apathy to said work), decided to downgrade the Manhattan apartment when rents began to rise and was dealing with the fact that my boyfriend's work visa had expired. That was the fate's aligning in my favour.

In Singapore however I have taken a job with a company I find myself enjoying immensely, gotten a nearby apartment who's rent is lower than New York's by miles and have begun to build a small group of friends in this country... now the fates are not in my favour.

But while this is a sad moment for many of my readers who I count among my friends and were rooting for my speedy return to States, it is more of a time to root for the fact that we can now return as a legal couple, protected under the law like never before in our nation's history.

And we all have Edith 'Edie' Windsor and Thea Spyer to thank for that.

Just like my previous post Defense of our (Gay)Marriage Aspirations from almost three-months ago, let's have a quick history lesson. Listen up kiddies, cause this should be filed away with such historical civil rights achievements like the Stonewall Riots, Loving v. Virginia and almost every other great civil rights victory from Rosa Parks to Daniel Savage.

In 2007, these two New York residence, married in Toronto after more than 40-years together. Tragically Spyer passed away in 2009, just as New York legally recognized same-sex marriage performed in other jurisdictions. Spyer left her entire estate to her widow... who had to pay $363,000 in federal estate taxes for the right to inherit her wife's estate.

Here's a critical thing to pay attention to, for heterosexual couples, no taxes are owed if the spouse inherits less than $3.5 million. Since DOMA refuses the government to see same-sex couples as not married under federal estate laws and as such, the change of property regardless if they are willed to another is seen as a transfer of ownership and not inheriting to a spouse.

Windsor paid the amount... and then followed it up by suing the federal government for discriminating against her.

With her lawyer, Roberta Kaplan through the ACLU and ran the case through the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York which ruled that section 3 of DOMA was unconstitutional. Though she had won Windsor pushed on and when the Justice Department attempted to file notice on the appeal, the Second Circuit Court upheld the ruling again. It was the first federal court of appeals decision to hold that laws that classify people based on sexual orientation should be subject to intermediate scrutiny. Finally Windsor filed petition for the Supreme Court, the highest court in the country, to argue that DOMA violated the Fifth Amendment's right of equal protection.

In a narrow vote in favour, the Supreme Court found section 3 of DOMA to be unconstitutional, stating "as a deprivation of the equal liberty of persons that is protected by the Fifth Amendment." Justice Anthony Kennedy voted in favour of repelling the law, joined by Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Stephen Breyer, Sonia Sotomayor, and Elena Kagan. Chief Justice John Roberts and Justices Antonin Scalia and Samuel Alito voted in dissent to keep the law.

And in concurrence, Hollingsworth v. Perry nullified Proposition 8, a constitutional amendment that rendered previously legal same-sex marriage in California illegal. In 30 days post its nullification, same-sex marriage will again be legal in California, raising the number of states where same-sex marriage is legal to thirteen. Now LGBT couples can wed in California, Connecticut, Delaware, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Hampshire, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont, and Washington, the District of Columbia and five Native American tribes.

With the support of President Obama, the first sitting president to come out in favour of same-sex marriage, a widespread ideological split in the Republican Party who had originally made opposition to same-sex marriage a party platform and 55% public support of same-sex marriage, it is expected that another law like DOMA to again re-establish a federal law against homosexual unions will now be almost impossible, if not subject to much stricter legal review before it ever gets close to vote.

And while we now exist in a legal patchwork, where certain laws and rights exist in some states and not in others, it sets a legal precedence in favour of same-sex marriage, the same precedence that DOMA tried to squash in 1996 when Hawaii was considering such laws in favour.

Gay married couples will soon be able to apply for social security and survivor benefits, file jointly for federal return taxes, gain employee benefits for the care of sick spouses, children, parents or in-laws, gain health insurance coverage and especially in the case of Ms Windsor, estate taxes. Immigration laws will of course follow, but in the interim, we are all existing in a legal free-fall to see where the issue eventually lands. The federal government is expected to pay back all the money they took from her... plus interest.

And that kiddies is the end of our story... for now...

Until next time, this is AngMoh, cheering the homeland on from far across the Pacific and wishing his fellows some luck in the next big step in the Gay Civil Rights Movement and a hope to arrive in time to see it achieve complete fruition.

Asian Apartment Assessing

So if my sky writer is doing his job, you should know by now that we've signed the lease on our first Singaporean apartment. What you didn't know!? But I paid that random stranger I met on the bus in the middle of the night all that money for top notch work!

Fine, back on topic!

For the last month we've been living with the boyfriend's Singaporean parents and while they have been INCREDIBLE (Seriously, by the normal conservative standards of the previous generation that speaks volumes!) I however have lived on my own for nearly 7-years! Living with someone else (barring my boyfriend for nearly two-years now) is an adjustment I have been finding it difficult adjusting to having 'room mates'... and living with your significant other's parents makes it both difficult and a bit uncomfortable.

• You have to be on your best behaviour all the time, no walking around in your boxers (Don't lie, you know you do it when no one's home). 
• You have to always dress nicely to present your competence as an adult... how I miss my ratty and worn lounging sweat pants!
• You can't hog the bathroom or the food, I love to take hour long hot showers where I literally can just sleep standing up... nope not here! My poor back muscles are screaming in defiance at the injustice!
• You can't curse or shout whenever your pissed or hurt. Don't believe me, stub your toe on the table and try stifling that F-word in your throat as you grip you foot and smile at the parents. 
• Your decision for meal time are by group consensus and not by what your stomach wants that night. 
• All forms of PDA even up to overt flirting is now weird because honestly, who wants to get all hot and bothered in front of you 'in-laws'. 
• Find you boyfriend's mother washing your underwear and instantly you feel both embarrassment and a healthy dose of shame, not to mention your an adult, you feel bad having someone else doing your laundry. (If your mother still does your laundry after college, sorry, you're a wierdo!)

For someone who lived by himself over half a decade, such an adjustment is not easy and the desire to return to some level of freedom I enjoyed before is desperately wanted. Don't get me wrong, its an immensely rewarding experience to get to know the Singaporean parents... but literally meeting them and living with them all in the same week is like watching an antelope on the Serengeti... every second a conversation goes quiet your afraid the time has come and that antelope is about to be hit... by Hummer!

Again back on topic, I know I run off on tangents. I think its because... Oh fine, your no fun!

So to begin hunting for a new place to stay in Singapore, the first desire is to pick somewhere that a commute to work is feasible. Right now going from Tampines down to Raffles means either catching the 552 Bus, riding it for an hour, praying traffic plays nice and then walking 10-minutes to work... or catching the 91 Bus to Tampines Mall, riding the MRT to Raffles and walking 15-minutes to work... both ways are crowded and both require me to be awake much earlier than God ever intended. So it was decided to focus in every neighbourhood that was less than a 20-minute commute from our office (train/bus included).

I am not a morning person... in fact before my coffee I am a DANGER to society... the closer I am to work the better.

Narrowing down our search area, we found apartment hunting in Singapore is very similar to NYC. Realtor's have taken to social media and the Internet with a zeal, many sites specific to Singapore apartment renting or property buying are plastered all over the Internet. We focused primarily on the website Property Guru, mostly because it required all apartment rental posting to come with pictures, both of the property but also the realtor hosting it.

Our area of focus was Tanjong Pagar, an area at the heart of the Downtown Core of Singapore that is an odd mix of old style HDBs and high-rise condos. It's only a short distance from the famed and always crowded Singapore Harbour, one of the busiest seaports in the world... seriously New York Harbour, you don't even rate in the top 10 seaports in the world when you can count nearly a hundred super-freighters representing two dozen countries, each as long as the Empire Star Building is tall, clustering on the open ocean, all vying to be the next to drop their goods at the base of tower cargo cranes that rival skyscrapers in height!

Saturday is the day to show, most people are out and about so you can get a feel for the real life of your desired neighbourhood. This will give you an idea of how crowded or loud your future home could be. If I'd have known my college apartment in Philadelphia was dead on the weekdays but overwhelmed by crowds, ear-splitting club music and drunks falling over at only 4:00 PM in the afternoon, I may have looked a little farther down the road!

Generally most owners will go through a realtor when they are trying to sell their places, the hassle is easier and most buildings require it to ensure nepotism doesn't play a factor in them keeping the rents competitive. In general pick them based on the properties they have, but when you call to schedule your appointment ask if they have similar properties in the area. Most actually will have multiple apartments in the same building complex they will be happy to show.

Now that sounds odd, if you've seen one HDB apartment, you've seen them all. But remember Singaporeans love to buy over rent, which means that as owner they have say in how all of these decade old units are not only decorated but also how they are renovated. The first apartment we saw had a wall between the kitchen and living room. But the next apartment did fit within the same space and shape, but that wall between the kitchen and living room had been torn out and a breakfast counter now acted as a barrier. Another two floors down had redone the kitchen counters with green tiles, the one next door went with stainless steel tops.

Secondary to this, almost all rental apartments in Singapore tend to come fully furnished. The owners know that most people who are renting tend to be working and juts starting out in the world, they have few belongings. Its common for all the basic furniture and major appliances to be installed on arrival. Think of it like how a hotel room is built, nothing fancy but still you will have a couch, television, washer, kitchen table, a bed and wardrobe for each room. If your buying, sorry they expect if you can afford property, you can afford your own couch! This means that the décor and furnishing of the place must also be considered when moving in. I loved a 18th floor apartment in a particular HDB near Duxom Park but the fact that owner refused to remove the ancient and truly gaudy Chinese-style wooden furniture and furnish with a television that wasn't made in the 1980s was the reason we turned it down.

The range of rents you can find will run the gamete and are largely predictable. The fancy condo built less than a year ago, with its own small backyard, a sky garden on the room, private courtyard and garage, even a private hall for functions, along with complimentary bomb shelter/pantry, was of course rated at a price that visibly made us choke. The cheap HDB flat built around the time my grandparents were newly weds and still hosting all the original décor, was straggly cheap... and stomach turning in its filth.

Be clear with the realtors, most are willing to negotiate the rent down if you are willing to offer incentive. Move in right away, but only if you drop S$200 from the rent. Like we'd pay the full rent, but wanted the couch, television and beds replaced with more modern versions. Haggling will be difficult and somewhat exasperating but we managed to chop a good chunk off our rent and get a say in how it was furnished because since the renovations were completed the day before, it lacked furniture when we viewed it.

Once the bid and the your haggled stipulations for moving in have been presented to the owner, they can decide whether or not they'll take your offer. This offer is going to include a check for your first month's rent, plus a security deposit that is usually one months rent and a realtor fee, which is usually another month's rent. So expect whatever price you agree on, the first time out of the gate you'll be paying three to four times that amount, so brace your bank accounts accordingly.

Once the offer is accepted, its time to sign the contract, where your stipulations for moving in are legally documented. Do no skimp on any details and make sure the owner is held accountable for all damages within the first day of moving in. We found while out future home was ideal, the handles on the kitchen windows were broken, a mirror was cracked and two tiles in the bathroom were wobbly. Yes, wobbly is the technical term! These damages must be fixed before you move in and any one's you missed need to be documented the first day in order to avoid a hefty chunk of your security deposit being sucked up when you move out.

There are also some stipulations that have to be made clear on the contract when you move in, in order to save yourself from 'breaking' your lease later on:

• Expatriate renters can use the Overseas Clause to break a lease without penalty. If you are posted back to your home country or another, you are only required to give two-weeks notice and your lease will be shortened accordingly to end as soon as possible. Just provide you FIN or Passport number to secure this.
• If ANY of the persons on the lease are Singaporean, the Overseas Clause not only doesn't apply, it voids an early lease break for the whole apartment.
• Rent periods tend to be 12-months to 18-months, not by year. 
• Non-Singaporeans can not own property in an HDB. Only Singaporeans can buy an HDB unit. This is the reason the Overseas Clause applies to expatriates and not Singaporeans, we can break contracts early but can never own.
• Subletting is illegal and strictly enforced. Even to family this is unacceptable unless their names are on the lease.
• Most buildings come with WiFi and it is average in speed. Enough to browse the Internet but if you want to use some serious power, like online gaming or HD television, you'll have to invest in something more powerful.
• Unlike in the States, water, gas and heat is not included in your rent. They will be billed to you same as electricity. 
• You are expecting to service all appliances and amenities in your apartment. No building repairman, unless the damage is to the building itself, then alert the owner for assistance. Remember your air conditioner WILL need to be serviced every three-months, if it doesn't the build up of bacteria, dust and oils can make you sick or worse, start a fire!

And with that all hammer down, we've signed our contract and are set to move in next week! Ang Moh finally has some property to call his own! I think I'll raise some rabbits... yes that seems appropriate... fine I'll just get a mint plant for the kitchen window!

Border Security, Economic Opportunity, and Immigration Modernization Act (2013)

So over the course of the last weekend I've been getting bombarded by a lot of questions in relation to immigration bill that passed through the United States Senate yesterday. The notable portion of the bill that got a lot of people pinging me for responses was the fact that while the bill had been passed, the clause allowing for foreign-born LGBT spouses of Americans could be sponsored for green cards.

As has been headlines or at least worthy of a paragraph or two, was the dropping of said clause from the bill in the name of getting it passed the conservative members of the Senate... namely the Republican members of the Senate.

Here's some questions I've gotten and answers I've given. If any details are misquoted or misinterpreted them, please correct me... my co-author, proof reader and fact checker seems to have wandered off as of late.

1. Can't you can still marry in any one of the states same-sex marriage is legal in and then sponsor for a green card through them?
• Nope! See my previous post to hear me complain about that one but under the Defense of Marriage Act or DOMA, the federal government is not required to recognize same sex marriages performed in any states, territory or protectorate. As such, even if same sex marriage is legal in 12 states, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire, New York, Maine, Maryland, Washington, Rhode Island, Delaware, Minnesota and DC, along with civil unions in 8 states, California, Colorado, Hawaii, Illinois, New Jersey, Nevada, Oregon, and Wisconsin, the federal government determines visas, green cards and immigration law, meaning if passes a law, like DOMA, banning federal recognization of same sex marriages or unions as legal marriages, then its banned for everyone. If DOMA is repealed, then those rights could be extended to bi-national same sex couples.
2. Doesn't this law just protect illegal immigrants from Mexico?
• No per say, it actually has specific clauses to lift restrictions on immigrants seeking to enter the high-tech markets of the United States. Right now the current law, the H1-B, only allows a skilled foreign immigrant to enter the country on a 2-year visa for a total cap of 6-years. At the end they either can have a company sponsor them for a green card or return home. This bill will increase the number of qualified workers that can enter the country.
3. The bill only got through because they were going to require all the illegal immigrants to be finger printed.
• Not entirely, never lovable and always conservative Republican Alabama Senator Jeff Sessions tried to rail road that through but instead it was reduced to foreigners leaving through the 30 busiest international airports, in order to track those that leave or have over-stayed their visas.  
4. Won't this make it easier for your foreign boyfriend to find an American job?
• Yes and no. It does lessen the restriction by which companies can hire foreign skilled workers, it however does not release the limitation on the length of the resulting work visa. It also doesn't address the prevalent problem of companies actively avoiding the act of transitioning a work visa to a green card when the visa limit is reached.
5. Under the bill can't he seek American citizenship? Wouldn't that be better?
• This one is tricky but I guess the answer would be, would you be able to give up your citizenship that quickly? As Americans, we assume all foreigners entering the country also want to be American. It's natural given the whole 'melting pot' idea we learn about as kids. Is it really that easy to give up your home and nationality.

First things first, while I am very bitter the LGBT-clause was dropped and a sour taste is left in my mouth when I see pictures of the bipartisan Senators congratulating themselves on a job well done, the tiny voice of reason that is my conscience has pointed out that the bill could have helped some or none at all.

Republic lawmakers on the committee openly declared that any LGBT immigration protections would mean they'd kill the bill in committee and vowed if it passed, it surely would die on the Senate floor when time came to vote. This was the line drawn in the sand and the Democrats either had to accept it and move forward, or just give up everything and literally have months of legal research, networking, compromises and talks fall through in a matter of one week. Anyone who has tried to work their way through American immigration law will know, it is the most complex and insular system anyone will ever invent, next to the hellish monstrosity that is the American tax law. Few will have to wonder why many skilled and educated workers have no problem just staying to get an education or a nice job, but always end up retiring back to their home countries... its just too much trouble to deal with.

Notwithstanding this, while the number of bi-national same-sex couples in the United States number into the tens of thousands, the number of illegal immigrants in the country ranges into the millions.

As angry as it makes me feel, that logical conscience of mine whispers into my ear that it was the needs of the many that outweighed the needs of the few. Honestly, you have to admit that most gay couples in the United States tend to be more financially stable, more likely to be educated and most entered this country under legal visas that have just expired. Now I am not saying their are illegal alien LGBT people, I guarantee there are, but in general I would have to say that the majority of those being protected under this bill were those that were going to be the victims a kind of discrimination without any form of protection, a term that technically could be called legal slavery or economic slavery.

No its not some fancy word play, its a situation where an individually is barely paid enough to survive economically while being prevented from ever advancing under threat of persecution, legal reprisal or even punishment. Illegal aliens enter the country, yes illegally, but the vast majority usually are coming to the United States for a better life, then promptly find they can make barely enough to survive, with the constant threat if they try to fight for a better life and pay they will be arrest and deported, a threat usually thrown out by their criminally cheap employers in the face of a defiant immigrant.

Its an act of discrimination that was made illegal in America when slavery was declared illegal. Situations like this tend to however punish the victim and not the victimizer. Yes, those employers could be in a lot of trouble and certainly could face jail time, but many of those illegal aliens will face deportation, a fate that some consider worse than jail time.

The bill will help any illegal immigrants to apply for temporary legal status that allows them to live and work in the country within six months, then apply to get their green card in 10 years and American citizenship three years later.

This bill will also work to strength borders along Mexico, increase the number of H1-B visas and make it easier for individuals to attain citizenship.

Completing My S-Pass Employment Application!

Disclaimer: Because I mention my job in this post I am enforcing the anonymity rule with comments. Do not mention my name, position, company or office location. Any comments that do will be deleted. Same applies to me, I will NEVER refer to my position, company, its location beyond country, refer to colleagues or anything they say. I will also never post pictures, taken of either colleagues or on the office premise. In general I will be as vague or broad as possible with details! Thank you.

Heads Up: This is a continuation on my blogging about applying for an S-Pass employment visa in Singapore. If you miss part one, scroll to the bottom of the page for links to the corresponding sequences! 

So for those that haven't heard of the "Boyah Dance" I have been doing it extensively in the last two days, throwing paper into the air and screaming like a shrill Banshee on crack. That is because I have officially been made an offer by a company.

I GOT A JOB!

Yes, only one month in Singapore and I've managed to lock down a position with a local company. Do not take my success as the standard, even I am a bit astounded I got in the front door that fast. A tiny part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop. The only thing I can say is that my efforts to saturate every job application on LinkedIn may have paid off.

Sorry, as I stated in the above DISCLAIMER, my rule of anonymity on this blog forces me to hold my tongue on what my future job is, where I'll be working or what I'll be doing. Plus this is so if my future bosses stumble onto this site I won't be ripped a new one for talking about work in excruciating detail. So fair warning for my friends trickling in from my Facebook link, don't post comments with my name, the company name, office location or even my future title... it truly pains me but I will be deleting them.

Can't affording getting my lovable ass fired before I even begin!

So to help you guys who are also interviewing in Singapore, I'll walk you through the most important portion of job hunting process, finishing you Employment Pass Application, the equivalent of the H1-B work visa for Singapore.

Interview

When you interview with a company you are going to have to make clear from the start that you require a Employment Pass (EP) in order to work in Singapore. Getting this out of the way quickly can you get past a lot of frustration. I had two phone interviews end within seconds when I mentioned I needed a EP and they weren't interested. 

Easiest solution, just write in the summary section of you resume. You'll hear less responses, but you'll hear more serious responses. 

Don't feel put out, Singapore has over 1.2-million foreign nationals in the workforce and issued nearly 176,000 Employment Passes in 2011. Out of those over 15,000 are Americans, not counting their families. The government is currently pushing to have that number increased even further before 2020 and the only notable restriction currently is the Foreign Worker Quota applied to companies. This quota is split as such, 20% of a company's total employees in Singapore can be foreign, 80% must be Singaporean. In order to achieve a higher quota, they have to hire four Singaporeans for ever one foreigner. 

With an national unemployment rate of barely 1.9%, the lowest in the developed world, this is actually very easy to achieve for many companies. 

Job Offer

Now after you've interviewed with the company and they make an offer, you have to officially accept before they forward you the Work Pass application and your contract. They won't send you a thing until you speak the words "I accept the offer." Try to keep the confetti and fanfare down a bit, so no boyah dance before the future employer. 

Now you can download the application from the Ministry of Manpower website, but wait for the version the company is going to send you. That is because in some cases the company could fill in its corporate information (Big ID numbers that you can't hope to answer). 

The Ministry of Manpower claims that you should never send in an application that is older than 30-days, claiming that in that time the form could have been updated. Seriously, when was the last time a bureaucracy updated their forms? (Example: see DMV)

Best to wait for them to send you a copy, that is because as a company they are issued the Work Pass Application directly from the Ministry of Manpower the second they update. 

Work Pass Application 

Currently as of May 2013, you have to fill out the S-Pass Application (Form 8). It seems like a daunting and confusing form but here are some simple things I can go over to make it easier.

Section 1A to 2B

First off, in most cases Section 1A to Section 2B can be left blank. That is usually filled out by the company.

However the very top section your going to notice the application is going to be asking for a passport sized photo. Now this is not going to be the picture you took years ago at the post office that made you look like a drunk and cross-eyes (screw you, I had the flu when it was taken seven-years ago!). 

Instead you have to get a recent photo of yourself. Most malls in Singapore have a photo-booth to do that but if your feeling cheap like me, just get someone to take a picture of you with your iPhone in just a nice shirt. No one wants to see your pants, just your upper body. Then just re-size your fancy and glamorous model shot to the 25 by 35 millimeters standard (210 by 240 pixels if you want to be extra, super, obnoxiously exact). It doesn't matter if its black & white or color, but use color if you can because its easier to go color to black and white then from black and white to color.

Section 2C

Section 2C is where your going to begin, your not in charge of the company so mark No, and then if your applying for your first job in Singapore as an expatriate, check the first box, because you need both a work pass and an S-Pass. I can't advise on switching jobs, if you know, please comment below ↓.

Again you are going to notice the application asking for Company’s CPF Submission Number. Skip it, unless they tell you, your not going to find it without pulling a lot of teeth and getting really frustrated. 

Section 3

Section 3 can be skipped unless you used a employment agency. I did not, so sorry I can't add a thing. 

Section 4

Section 4 is where your going to start filling in your personal information, very self-explanatory. It's here you have to note if your married or not. Here is where you have to make sure you have a copy of your marriage license handy and if its not in English, a translated copy from your country's embassy. 

Section 4B is also where you need to add in your passport information. In most cases you'll note if you have a Hong Kong Special Admin Region, International Certificate of Identity, International Passport and Macau SAR Travel Permit. Again you'll need to make sure you have a copy of passport with the photo and the passport number visible.

Now the race section, that's normal on almost anything even if secretly I think its a bit racist and unnecessary  I pass it off more as a requirement for census demographics and statistics that the government just loves to gobble up. But the religious declaration portion, that tripped me up.

At first I took some offense to this! How dare they ask me this question! I am atheist but raised Catholic, yet I am very reserved about having to declare my beliefs are in any official capacity. They are my beliefs, I shouldn't have declare or defend them, I'd prefer to keep them privately to myself the way I am most comfortable with.

But in looking into the status of religion in Singapore I was oddly surprised. The population breaks into the following:

• 33% Buddhist
• 18% Christian
• 17% non-Religious
• 14% Taoist
• 5% Hindui
• 0.7% Other

The government does allow for religious freedom but it is also strictly secular and does not tolerate any religious discussion or speech in the public forum like advertising, political speech or protest, censoring it regardless if it is positive or negative as its seen as adversely affecting racial or religious harmony. I found this oddly comforting, back in the United States myself and the rest of the LGBT community are regularly denied benefits or rights by conservative Congressmen and several former Presidents under the guise of it going against " What God Intended". Now Singapore doesn't have many LGBT protections or rights but still it doesn't throw "God's Law" in your face when trying to have a political discussion.

Sorry, I ran off on an tangent again, back to work. 

Section 4C is where your going to fill out your residence information. YOU CAN NOT APPLY FOR A S-PASS IF YOUR NOT IN SINGAPORE! Don't worry if your currently holding up at a hotel or a friend's place but are going to moving out to a glorious HDB apartment any day now. You can just add in the employing company's address and they'll just forward the mail right to you there. 

Section 5

Here is where you can prove all that money your parent's spent on your education was worth it. The application ask for you to list the last two higher education institutions you attended. If your like me and think your Bachelor of the Arts (Journalism Degree!) is all you need to prove your smarts, don't worry, just leave the second batch of boxes blank. 

Again, make sure you have a copy of your diploma. I just took a picture of it and made sure to keep the wood of the table it sat on out of the background. A fair number of companies also require copies of your college transcripts and GPA's, so time to start worrying about those semesters of consecutive C+ grades. Most places will be happy with just a scanned copy of your diploma. If you don't have it, time to call mom and have her head over to the local copy center and walk her through the painful process of working a copier. 

The next part is Section 5B, Societies/Organisations Membership. Unless your a major member in a major political party or action group, like chairwoman of the National Party of Female Republican for Horticulturists with a Peg Leg, skip this portion. 

Section 6

This area is for your spouse to fill out if you checked "Married" in Section 4. Now regardless if your spouse is filling out there own S-Pass Application, you still have to fill this out. That is because if your spouse decides to be the stay-at-home parent or loses their job, adding them on your Application will keep them from facing a lot of headaches. Having your name and reference number on their application will ensure someone at the Ministry of Manpower will know not to sent out an order to leave Singapore or be deported when they see their no longer working. 

Section 7

Employment, this is where your going to be listing every job and position that you've held previously. For most of us this list won't be very long, for me it was only two positions in two years. Sorry summers waiting tables, you aren't applicable unless I used a college degree to get in.

You will have to fill out:

1. Total Period of Working Experience
2. Total Period of Relevant Working Experience

The first one, Total Period of Working Experience is how long since you graduated from college have you been working. Now for me, that's from October 2011 until today. Just use this Date/Time Calculator to figure that out.

For me its 1-year and 7-months. 

Now from this number you have to note for the second one, Total Period of Relevant Working Experience, is how long you've been working that can directly be correlated to the position your taking on. Since I'm working in the same industry this whole time, that entire 1-year and 7-months I can add to that part. If you've recently gone back to school to get a degree and are now re-entering the work force for a new job, sorry but your Relevant Working Experience get's scaled back unless you can toss in an internship or twelve. 

Next, you have to fill in the information on your future position your taking the offer for. That simply is the fixed monthly salary in Singapore Dollars (how much total your making with commissions , basic monthly salary in Singapore Dollars (the basic amount your making without commission), the job title and the office address I'll be working out of. So since I'm working for the same amount each month, its the same for both sections, then the name of my future position and then the location of where my future desk will be sitting.

Be careful, I sent in my first version with my salary and my previous salaries set for a complete year instead of monthly. That got the HR people sending me a confused email asking how I could possibly make so much in a single month... God I wish but that required a quick change and an email back that wasted time. 

According to Section 7D, since I'm a licensed professional like a nurse, lawyer or doctor (my mom would faint with glee if I was), I don't need to do a thing here other than check no. 

Section 8

This is your last part (Hooray!), and is pretty basic. Unless you've done anything drastic in your past, like been arrested, deported, forbidden to enter Singapore, spit in the Queen of England's pancakes (Fine, I'm joking), everything should be a No except for Section 8G, if your currently in Singapore.

Now since you have to be in Singapore to apply for a job, you can give one of three reasons what brought you into the country originally: 

• Study
• Work
• Other (Visitor Visa)

Because I am not already here on an existing work pass or here to study at a university, I have gone with the third option. I arrived in the country and went through customs, walking away with a 90-day extended stay visa. I just have to note that my length of stay is three-months. 

So after finishing Section 8 all you have to complete is sign your name twice, date the signatures and then your done! Everything after this is meant for official use or to be stamped by the company.

What to Add

Now that your application is done, let's confirm our checklist to make sure we have everything to submit. 

•  Form 8 S-Pass Application form: 
• Completed and Signed by Applicant. 
• Completed, Stamped and Signed by Sponsor Company 
• 1x Copy of supporting documents. REMEMBER: Non-English documents must be accompanied by an official English translation done by a certified translator, High Commission/Embassy or a notary public.
• Copy of recent Passport or equivalent.
• Recent picture at sized for passport. Pick any picture of yourself 25 by 35 millimeters, white background, in color or b&w. 
• Applicant’s Educational Certificates:
• Diploma/Degree Qualifications
• Registration or Support Letters from the respective Vetting Agency/Professional Body/Accreditation Agency. This is only needed for licensed professionals: 
• Doctor – Singapore Medical Council
• Dentist – Singapore Dental Council
• Pharmacist – Singapore Pharmacy Council
• Nurse – Singapore Nursing Board
• TCM Practitioner – Traditional Chinese Medicine Practitioners Board
• Lawyer – Singapore Attorney-General’s Chambers
• Football Player/Coach – Singapore Sports Council
• Support letter from International Enterprise (IE) Singapore (For application submitted by Representative’s Office).
• Official marriage certificate (For applicant with Singaporean spouse only).

Travel

Now a key thing to remember is the second you submit your S-Pass Application Form, whether sending it directly back to the employer or right to the Ministry of Manpower, the moment that application leaves your hands YOU CAN NOT LEAVE SINGAPORE until its approved. 

Every time I went in to talk to my future employers, they asked me repeatedly "Are you planning to travel?" I had to explain as humor-filled as possible and without a hint of desperation, that no, my glamorous life will not be including going anywhere in the world that can't be reached by local bus. 

Just remember, if you decide to take a weekend on the islands of Thailand, up to Japan to grab some authentic sushi or even  taking a care ride over to Malaysia for a little rain-forest hiking... you've just made a big mistake and could have reset your entire application process. That is because if you are not psychically in Singapore, your application is stopped, sent back to the bottom of the queue and has to go through all the steps again. 

I'm sorry but as it's been made clear to me, there are tragically no exceptions to the rules. 

So get ready for some weekends cruising the local malls because your jet setting is on hold for the time being.

Submitting

So with everything done, scanned, copied and filed away, its now time to submit the papers to your future employer to have them add in their own information, double check all your stuff and submit it to the Ministry of Manpower. 

And your done! Congratulations you've completed your S-Pass Application! It normally will take between 3 to 10-days to get a confirmation. Once it is, you technically can start working! In the meantime you'll have some documents to complete before heading off to get your official Employment Pass!

Read about the employment pass medical examination in the next post: Employment Pass Medical Checkup

For those that missed it, here is the complete S-Pass Application Process. Click below for:

• Part 1
• Part 2
• Part 3

Job Hunting With A Shotgun

So my speed of posting has slowed, but can you blame me? You can... shut up then! I've been hitting the pavement running trying to find a job, literally in one case last week I nearly hit the pavement face first after almost taking a spill down the stairs at Raffles Place during a rain storm. Seriously, its like Singapore is a country that hates friction, I mean really almost all the apartments come with slick tiled floors, its as if the country was never introduced to carpet... but I digress on another one of my lovable tangents...

I guess that is going to be the topic for today, job hunting in Singapore. Or in my case, running down the street throwing stacks of my resume into the air like confetti.

Recruiting Agencies Vs. Recruiting Departments

As of my current experience I can without a doubt declare that recruiters both in Singapore or abroad and recruiting for jobs in Singapore are some of the worse! Now they are bad all around the world and I highly recommend just avoid them like the plague they are.

Just skip over recruiting agencies and go straight to the company's HR or recruiting specialists.

The reason is simple, the recruiting agency is working on commission and are only interested in filling a position with a body. They ARE going to act like your friend and butter you up just to get you in the door, enticing you with a position when in reality they have no intention of hiring you and are literally throwing you to the wolves to show they are doing their job. If you happen to get the job, then yippy, they get a commission... if not... yippy, they get salary!

Company recruiting departments on the other hand can be picky and stringent in their reviews, they are more likely to tell you even before you get in the door for an interview that you are not a right fit and thank you for applying. At the same time they also work in your line of business, are more likely to ask industry relevant questions and you'll be able to rapidly gauge the competency of the company you're trying to join.

I highly recommend if possible, to avoid recruiting agencies and throw your resume right into the face of the company recruiting specialists.

Late Interviewers

In most cases, your interviewer is not sitting by the phone with bated breath, counting down the seconds until you interview. They instead are trying to shoehorn you into their schedule while balancing a thousand different things. As I've noticed with Singapore, this is ten times worse.

According to at least a dozen of my friends, its common for interviews in Singapore and Asia as a whole to always start much later than they were scheduled and to arrive on time, but expect to have to wait. In fact, do not schedule multiple interviews in one day, if you can't, place at least two-hours between them, in addition to the time you intend to spend traveling there. That way if they run over, you're safe.

Do not take offense if your interviewer is 30-minutes to an hour late, take the time to grab a coffee, get some food, brush up on your notes. I had one female interviewer who was 5-hours late, then I took offense and professionally/respectfully/while biting my tongue, asked for a better time to talk.

Blitzing Hiring Process

Asia in generally has an incredibly accelerated hiring process, to the point where you're going to feel like you're being launched from a catapult! If the interviewers like you, expect to be called back as quickly as possible and for them to start the process of hiring you instantly.

When you go for an interview, go in expecting that you are going to be grilled on everything from the start. Don't think you're just going in for a casual conversation with an interviewer, but you are going to be sitting before the company CEO and expected to sound like a semi-articulate human being who doesn't drool on his own shirt or appears to be missing a chromosome.

It will save your ass in the long run when you don't have to review your notes every other second between interviews, can think on the spot and most of all, don't say "ummm" every other word.

Salary

Before you even begin the process of interviewing, make sure this is pay you want. Singapore, like many Asia countries, calculates salary based on month, not year. It makes your pay sound small but don't choke every time they tell you the pay. Remember that many government taxes in the United States don't exist in Singapore, so you won't be losing huge chunks of it to the massive social security and federal taxes that guzzle up your dollars.

Don't hesitate on the salary when being hired, if you don't like it and can't get it higher, walk away immediately. If they do like you they should and will most likely increase the base pay of the position. If they won't and you can't live with it, say thank you but no thank you and walk to the exit very slowly.

A key thing to remember, is once they make an offer you are expected to take it as quickly as possible. Waiting is considered disrespectful to many companies or that you're weighing your options with one of their competitors. Companies hate to feel like they've been played! They will retract the offer if you are unwilling to accept it almost instantly when its been made!

Employment Pass

Now for any Expat hunting for a job abroad you have to spend a lot of time studying the different visa's that you can apply for. Some countries can vary immensely, from immigrant meccas like Singapore... to backwards, confusing and outright concern immigration laws like in the United States. You have to understand what you are applying for to make sure you are not going to get screwed up in the long run.

In America, all foreign-born individuals seeking employment in the country have to get an H-1B and only then can use it for three-years, which then can be renewed for a total cap of six-years... and then you either have to get your company to sponsor a green-card or leave.

A concern number of US companies are instead letting workers go instead of transitioning them to a green-card due to the cost associated with it when hauling in a new H-1B worker or even an American is cheaper by leaps and bounds. Another rising statistic has been found also, H-1B workers are paid a lower salary than their American counterparts, meaning that some companies have started to use them as a cheap but highly-skilled source of labor. A source of skilled labor we then spurn by not allowing them to seek residence after they've spent 6 years of their lives here and send back overseas, where again a concerning number of them have begun to pop up in competing Asian companies.

Hint: The prestige associated with working at a US company quickly earns brownie points in most interviews for Asian companies. Working in a big city like LA or New York can also gain you a huge boost!

Again, another one of my tangents, but its something that personally grinds my gears.

In Singapore the visa process is incredibly simple, to the point where a simpleton like me can understand it. Through the Ministry of Manpower, a company can apply on behalf of a new employee for the following passes:

• P1 Pass: Make a fixed monthly salary of S$8,000. This includes any legally married spouse and children under 21 and can be extended to parents. 
• P2 Pass: Make a fixed monthly salary of S$4,500. This includes any legally married spouse and children under 21.
• Q1 Pass: New graduates who make a fixed monthly salary of S$3,000. If making over S$4,000, this can includes any legally married spouse and children under 21.

There is even a self-assessment test that can be taken in order to determine if your application for a pass would be approved. See Here.

Sorry to most but your score increases immensely if you have previous job experience and a college degree. With two-years work experience and a bachelors degree I came back with a "Most Likely to be Accepted." When I took this test two years ago when I was just about to graduate college, it was a big, red sign saying "Unlike to be Accepted."

This is in no way saying you will or will not be accepted for a work pass, you need a legitimately recognized Singaporean company to sponsor your pass in order to get it approved... Sorry I know nothing about how that works for the self-employed. 

Well that's all I can offer for those seeking employment in Singapore. If you have any questions or quibbles, you know where to find the Ang Moh... no, not at Denny's... why does everyone think that?

Singapore Arrival

I've landed at Changi Airport! Its 6:50 AM (Singapore Local Time) and I'm just off the plane, trying to work that pain of my neck from those... comfortable airplane seats. I can never sleep on planes, I'm one of those who was genetically locked to only sleep in beds. Expect the real posts to start once I leave the terminal and walk into the wall of humidity everyone has warned me about.

The flight was uneventful save for the landing. My arrival in Singapore was just as I expected, with screaming, rolling and near death... okay, I'm going overboard but allow me to paint the canvas for you.

The first real thing I saw when we entered Singapore airspace was the lightning storm. At first, looking out through the window I could see the white hot crackles of light burning out like veins in the Human body. They illuminated these great white, snow covered islands... until I realized there was no water around those islands... or below them... just a shear drop of black nothing. They were clouds, flashing into existence all seven-seconds before they plunge back into that deep blackness you get only just minutes before the sun begins to crest the horizon.

Yep, that's correct, we were landing in a storm with lightning crackling around us. I didn't even see a hint of Singapore from above until less than a minute before we landed, the clouds white washing us so that we couldn't see anything until the tarmac was almost inches below out massive A380 plane (Imagine a 747 but that second floor goes all the way back.)

So my first few seconds on this island began with a near terrifying drop down towards the ground on a machine moving 500 MPHSs!

Excuse me, I have to go change my pants...

In the interim as I trade my undergarments, I am trying to find the London Outbound Singapore Airline flight that carries my boyfriend. Thankfully they have a stewardess armed with an iPad with all that information, so I do believe I may have found the right location to catch him at. Hopefully I won't have to stand atop some high point in the middle of Changi Airport and have to scream his name until security wrestles me to the ground.

Off again!

American Departure

At 8:50 PM, the Ang Moh vaulted through JFK airport security, only being stopped by the TSA three times (new personal best!) and boarded his plane for Singapore Airlines.

He wishes everyone reading a heartfelt goodbye and well wishes! 21-hours until D-Day... or S-Day... you know what I mean... just go with it!

Out With the Old, Into Changi Airport

My plane leaves in little more than five-hours, my bags are expertly packed/crammed and I'm riding down I-95, facing a terrible dilemma... can I still get a slice of pizza at JFK?

Fine, that is the worst thing to think before starting the first real leg of the adventure but after everything I've had to do the last few weeks, it just seems so appropriate. I mean it's the final completion after packing up an entire apartment, then hauling it down four-flights of steps, 80-miles south to the parents' to then again select only a tiny faction of all those items to then take on another excursion 9585-miles over the ocean, packing it into two check-in bags, one for the overhead, another under the seat and heck packing a final one to bash my head in with.

To sit here now, in an SUV flying down the asphalt with my dad driving and my boyfriend in the back reading something 'important' on his iPhone, I'm more concerned about a tiny distraction like food instead of surviving a 21-hour flight. I try to put the idea of leaving my family and friends behind me, that this is the farthest I have ever lived away from them, having someone visit will involve an international flight that literally will be a day long.

So what can I impart to those also traveling abroad, about to get on that plane and not look back?

1. No matter how you word it or spin it, your parents are not going to be pleased that their child is moving to the other side of the planet. Just bite your tongue and take the tears, disapproval and even the accusations. They're inevitable and avoiding it is only going to make it worse. 
2. Never get all your vaccinations on the same day, it's going to hurt like hell if you do. 
3. Pay attention when deactivating your phone, you may accidentally turn your mother's phone off instead.
4. The service guys for your Internet are going to offer you anything to keep your business. I do love the thought of owning a unicorn but I think I made the right decision to say no. 
5. Even with three people sitting on it, if the bag won't shut on the first try then its not going to shut on the tenth try.
6. Check what paper you print your E-ticket on. That inappropriate cartoon your dad printed for his buddies could be on the other side. 
7. Shut the top of the photocopier when you make duplicates of your important papers, your black and white face in the background can be shocking to immigration officers. 
8. Planning a party with the intent of getting rid of the last of your food and alcohol is a guaranteed failure. People will inevitably bring more than they eat/drink and you'll be in a worse spot than before. 

And that's what I've come up with as my final wisdom before my plane takes off. 21-hours from now and I'll be landing in the bright sun of a new morning in Singapore.

Wish me luck! The real adventure begins... wow, that was cliché...

Update: My final meal was KFC, a Twister Wrap to be specific! Good... not amazing...

One Travel Book Down, Thirty-Two Left to Go

My second to last night in Philadelphia and my last meal with the family without fuss, a nice dinner at the kitchen table with chicken shish kabob, sweet wedges of red, green peppers sandwiching each piece of meat between them. The first words out of my sister's mouth the moment the food is whittled down to a few of the more burnt bits of meat no one is going to touch is my sister saying "What language do they speak in Singapore? Singaporese?"

And for the ten-thousandth time I try to tell her Singapore speaks English, just like Canada, Australia, Ireland, New Zealand... only to get a stare from her that hints what I'm saying isn't getting through. So I offer her up one of my travel books, the first one that I really finished, the one my Singaporean boyfriend gave to me when he first wanted to introduce me to his home country after the decision to move abroad became official.

Her inquiry on my opinion on the book inspires this post... my first travel book on Singapore... out of the thirty or so that I've gotten.

Notes From an Even Smaller Island by Neil Humphreys. I found it to be an informative book, definitely hitting several topics of both history and cultural significance that I have yet to see in most other books.

What really hit home was the kiasu phenomena among the population. This odd Singapore phrase struck me so much for some reason, since its translation literally means "scared to fail." It resonates so much with the old American phrase "keeping up with the Joneses," a fact I find more ironic since that is my surname. People in Singapore are so worried that they could lose at something, be second place or end up with any less than perfect, they are willing to do anything, even if its entirely illogical and possibly outright insane in attempting to achieve even 'perceived' success. Its continued appearance as a theme throughout the book really helped to color the culture of the country and even prepare me when I could deal with a similar situation. Read more here.

Humphrey's humor really helps to move the book along and his details on the Aunties/Uncles, the Singaporan tendency to value security over the lime light or the exception to eat all your food or appear rude are tiny tidbits that I feel all the better for know... and secretly concerned about.

Now on the con side, this book would definitely been tossed into my "To Be Sold at Bargain Store" after the first chapter or so because I did not find Humphreys' writing style all that appealing. He was informative but the tone set throughout the whole book was largely of complaining, of humorous events of culture shock and misadventures that can keep you interested for a bit. Yet fifteen chapters worth and I could hear myself muttering at the end "Shut up! Just shut up already!" in a bitter tone of annoyance that I hadn't found myself saying to a book since the time my high school made us read Catcher in the Rye... damn I still want to punch that whiny Holden Caulfield in the fact!

I'd recommend it to anyone (sister's included) but with a healthy warning of what to expect. Off onto his three sequel books, Scribbles from the Same Island, Final Notes from a Great Island and Return to a Sexy Island. Wish me luck at not punching someone... damn... too late...

Don't Worry, It Will Only Hurt A Lot!

My shoulders are sore, my mouth taste like sand, eye's dilated to the size of dinner plates and my level of humiliation is through the roof. No, I haven't just gotten back from spring break in Florida, I've been to the doctors... and the dentist... the eye doctor... and because of my infinite brilliance of scheduling, all in the same day!

I'm about to travel abroad so of course I want to use every bit of my insurances (fine, my parent's insurance) to make sure I am in tip top shape... and after my little experience I think I should share the correct things to do when traveling abroad for an extended period of time to sidestep most of the stupid mistakes I made... there weren't too many... alright, they were big mistakes but there weren't a lot of them so they even out... shut it and just keep reading!

First and foremost, go right to the travel medicine clinic. I know, it seems like the last thing you want to do but in order to avoid the confusion, the fusing, the annoyed nurses staring at you at the doctor's office, it should be first on your list and moment your ready to go. These people deal with travelers every single day and know from the get-go that 99% of them have no idea what to do. They have little pamphlets on everything you can want and from those times I worked at a check-in desk in high school, I guarantee they've read them all at least seven times each!

Make sure to bring a record of your vaccinations along with a list of all your allergies, aliments and oddities (stop judging me, I didn't have that many!)

Second tip, vacationing abroad and living abroad are two different things. You have to tell them that because living abroad for years against two weeks means those shots your gonna get become a lot bigger and a lot more numerous. Now don't worry, its not too much. First thing they ask you when you call for an appointment is where your headed and be specific with countries! Saying you may travel around south-east Asia to a travel clinic doctor is like saying "Oh, I'm going to roll in raw sewage in ever country I go to!" Don't lie, don't say its a possibility or you think maybe. You think your going to Thailand  Malaysia  Japan, China... the works... you think you could be there any time for any reason in the next three years, you tell them. Because of that my simple shot for Hepatitis-A grew to include a shot for Typhoid Fever, another shot for Yellow Fever, another for Tetanus and to top it off, four test tubes of blood drawn to make sure you have the appropriate antibodies from childhood vaccinations. Check the CDC website on travel's information for more details.

Now these places can be expensive and will cost around $250 and more (your gonna lose $80 just for coming in!)... but a quick call to your insurance company can lead you to the only hospital in 100-miles that will take your worn and bent plastic insurance card! A massive bill then becomes a $30 copay.

The reason you need to go to the travel clinic first is because when you leave they hand you a nice big folder of information on your destinations, along with prescriptions for a number of terrible things (seriously, Malaria and travel's diarrhea CAN KILL, you definitely don't want to locked up at a hospital with that!). Inside that folder is a folded yellow card, on which every one of your doctors has to sign-off on, detailing your immunizations, your medications, even what your eye sight is.

This little card is now your best friend to accompany that folder you've been building with your social security card and passport. You know the one you'll have to be prepared to whip out any time you travel farther than 50-feet from you home. As you head off to your other doctor's appointment, in my case a cleaning at the dentist (No cavities! Suck it floss, I never use you!) and a psychical (seriously an EKG-test is freaking cold!) they are going to sign this little paper, confirming that your are both sane, healthy and seriously medicated. Also because they are going to ask you what medications you are on, you can hand them over the nice list of very exotic and very expensive drugs the travel clinic put you on so their own cheapy, run of the mill crap drugs don't counteract it or make you ill!

Once your done, your all set to go... maybe leave a few days to recover since those damn Tetanus shots really do make the muscles ache!

Mother Nature's Slap Goodbye

I'm from New England, no matter where I've lived or worked I've always felt an affinity for the weather of north eastern coast of the United States. And like a parting wave, New England has decided to bid me farewell with its usual sweet nostalgic grace... and for those that are not native to this area such grace appears as freezing rain coupled with howling wind that can make trees snap like toothpicks and flood warnings inundating the nightly news.

Its my last weekend in Philadelphia, trapped inside due to the storm and left with my family, which leaves me with a twinge of sorrow coupled with a growing desire to throttle my younger siblings. Now I know, that's a terrible thing to say about one's siblings but all in all their attempts to understand my move to another country are often colored by the usual American preconceptions.

My brother asks me "So is Singapore a democracy or is it like China?" So I answer that "Yep, just like America", Singapore is a democracy with a Parliament, President and Prime Minster. But when I get to the fact that for most of its history independent of the United Kingdom it has been dominated by a single large party, the People's Action Party, his response is that knowing smirk that so many Americans love to gleam when they suddenly come to their own conclusion that their country is better than someone else's. "So its not really a 'democracy' then."

You can hear my growl of frustration, can't you?

My sister on the other hand, she's more hung up on the fact that gum is technically illegal in Singapore. We've told her about the culture, the food, the history and even though she's a teacher herself, she keeps erupting with new schemes to smuggle in tons or the sticky, bubble blowing goodness with startling originality and my growing concern.

My father treats it a bit like an adventure, he listens and says he wants to visit which is a good thing. My mother... she tends to get weepy as our flight date arrives and shamefully I try to change the subject to anything but us leaving when she's in the room.

But the one person that actually surprised me, who really made an effort that while carrying a tiny twinkle of disapproval but a startling interest to learn everything she could about my future home was my grandmother. When I arrived last Thursday for lunch at her house with vegetable lasagna on the table (I gag, I hate the stuff but will never tell her that!) and instead of giving me the usual topics of conversation most of my family has brought up when I tell them we are moving... "Do they have cell phones and the internet?"... "Can they speak English?"... "Is the food weird?"... she actually had spent the day at the local library (Yes, they still have those) finding every book she could on Singapore. Well a local town library only had three books but by God she had read them all and prepared talking points and questions she wanted to ask me. We ended up spending nearly three hours Googling pictures and videos of Singapore so she could see the island as much as possible without having to leave her warm, well lived in town house and garden she swears that without here attention daily just seems to fall apart.

Too say I was proud of the woman is a absolute failure of words to describe what I felt at that point.

But that about sums up my two weeks home in Philadelphia with my family, running left and right trying to convince them that Singapore is no different than here, that yes it is thousands of miles away but I have always been fascinated by the number of similarities, paralleled and quirks our two countries share.

I guess right now, as I've laid out my travel books the same way I did with my text books in college, with biggest in the middle, smallest on the outside, highlighter in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other, I've been trying hour over hour... fine its been 20-minutes... to immerse myself in all things Singapore before I leave.

One of those in particular I've found to be the most informative is not the travel books, the reports I read on the US Embassy website for Singapore. It actually was a children's book my boyfriend and I got in a care bag during the 2012 Singapore Day in New York.

Yes it is a little on the heavy-handed side trying to entice people to come back to Singapore (the country has a concerning brain-drain going on against a influx of foreign immigrants) but seriously, it was the easy book a found that detailed out some really interesting facts about the history and culture of Singapore.

Did you know the Samsui women of China held a special place in the history of the construction, largely coming from China in the late 1930s to work in construction and were best known for the distinctive red hats and black scarfs they always wore. A woman construction worker, that was unheard of in that era and the Samsui ladies actually had to take a vow never to marry in order to work abroad and almost all of them actually kept it! Could you image having to leave your homeland to work abroad in order to support your family at home, but the catch was you could never marry or even fall in love. You can see the ironic parallels in my own reason to move to Singapore, leaving to follow the the guy I love but with the hope of a job to accompany that once I arrive.

Expatriate Guilt

Alright, so the biggest thing that I have noticed while trolling almost every website and book on American emigration and expatriation is the surprising lack of emotions on moving away and being separated from your hometown (save for the endless comments on missing a good burger or having cell phone reception everywhere). Most books allocate a brief section on how hard it can be and sometimes tears are shed but really, the vast majority seem to glaze over it, like the writers somehow have blocked it out with the feeling of adventure and excitement, mixed with some comical culture shock.

And the biggest aspect of moving abroad that I have noticed is completely absent, the term I have now come declaring copyright status on... Expatriate Guilt!

Fine, people move away from their parents all the time, across the country, to every state in their grand old country, where the idea of a car/train/ferry ride home to visit becomes one of those classic 80s road trip movies. But going the next level, leaving the country, becoming an expatriate, means that a trip home has to be a precisely planned affair of packing, lay-overs and immigration/customs lines where every border agent seems more pissed off than the one before.

Expatriate Guilt becomes even more apparent when you realize what you are leaving behind, more importantly... who.

Your parents, siblings, grandparents... hell that bitchy old spinster aunt you only ever see on certain mandatory religious holidays but try desperately to avoid ... are now in another country, no longer will visiting on weekends or certain one day holidays be a possibility. Your trips home become worse than living in another state, you'll have to coordinate like NASA mission control to get home for just a week or so. And next comes the triage, what time can you visit to see the most of your family and yet avoid being drowned in the torrential floods of Thanksgiving/Christmas or summer vacation travelers.

Now lets take that horrible feeling of separation (I'm sure we have a few readers who aren't totally emotionally dead inside!) and match it with that loving but concerning level of stubbornness and a hint of xenophobia our baby-boomer parents seem to just extrude from every pore. These parental units will most often declare, "We love you honey/baby/creature who claims its my child, but we have no interest in ever visiting you in that country we've never heard of but instantly know is one of those weird, backwards countries, probably with no running water."

Now I am not nay saying on parents all over the world. Most of our parents are now in there fifties and sixties, they are in that weird twilight before retirement but their energy is sapped from thirty-years of a career they may or may not have chosen to use in order to support us when we were little kiddies. Travel to a foreign, exotic country (hell, we can even lump Canada into that) where they may or may not speak the language, where the climate is totally opposite to the one at home and certainly none of the food appears appealing for consumption, is completely, totally, absolutely, a big fat... NO!

And that leaves us back where we began, Expatriate Guilt, the feeling that you can only visit your family on an extensively planned mission that is over so quick, you feel like you never left the airport check-in counter, sprinkled with the gut wrenching knowledge that your loving but resolute parents are not going to visit.

It is something anyone moving abroad will most likely face. Be prepared for homesickness on a level you have never dealt with since your parents dropped you off on the first day of kindergarten.

Maybe this feeling is a passing one, that only appears when one is on the way out and quickly is drowned out by a new culture, language, exploration, discovery and guzzling as much as the local liquor as possible. I think I will attach that to the reasoning behind such little attention being given to this wonderful combination of elation, sadness and being kicked in the nuts - Expatriate Guilt.

Packing Up Painful Perplexities

In the wee hours of the morning (fine, it was 11:00 AM but I'm not working so its fine to sleep late!) I finally and officially booked my plane ticket on Vayama. It was with astute research, a keen eye and a whole ton of blind luck I managed to find a fairly cheap flight on Singapore Airlines.

But now it's hit me, I've set my path in motion, by actually booking my travel there, my future in a foreign country as an expatriate becomes all the more real.

Worries and fear start to set in the instant the elation is passed.

First question that springs into my mind is "Is my mom going to get all weepy once I tell her everything is set to go?" No mother wants to see her child move more than a car ride away and the last time I nearly left the country a nuclear detonation had less fire and energy than her reaction. The worries of a dissatisfied parent plagues every child. I've been reading ExpatFocus.com, and their section on the guilt of leaving your family really hits home!

Second question becomes "How am I going to fit 25-years of my life into two suitcases?" Seriously, do you remember when we were kids and someone asked "If you were stranded on a desert island and could have only one thing, what would it be?" This is the situation you face when moving abroad, without the luxury of a moving truck, packing becomes a balancing act of the cost of shipping the item against the item's cost. Instantly I know my desktop computer I've spent so long tweaking and modifying to my approval can't come, along with that amazing flat-screen television we got for the living room. I'm actually calculating how much suitcase space I'll lose in order to find some room for my Xbox 360, Kinect and assorted games and still have space left for my all time favorite books (I have like 30 favorites and I can only have 5). You can read up on some shipping tips from US to Singapore here.

Third comes down to "What clothes do I bring, what do you leave?" I've lived in six different major cities in my life (Philadelphia, Raleigh, San Francisco, Pittsburgh, Detroit, New York City) and other than San Francisco, every one of them have been in temperate climates and under the swinging pendulum from snowy winter to hot sun of summer. You know how you have that one outfit you look damn good in without any real effort, that's me with a thermal sweater, jeans and some converse. None of those will do in a country that is 85-miles north of the equator, that's less than the distance from Philadelphia to New York City! Now I have to transition my wardrobe to a country where 80F is the norm regardless if its December or July. Seriously check out this week's forecast.

Now these are just my three biggest worries, tiny and trivial ones continue to crop in occasionally. An hour ago, going through kitchen appliances that we're being boxed for storage at my parents, I actually was upset for half a second that I'd have to leave behind my coffee maker. Yes, Singapore has coffee, even 70 Starbucks locations, but still it's those tiny things that spring into your mind at the oddest moments that really catch you off guard.

So in order to placate some of my worries I've decided to take a stab at the two travel books that my boyfriend has provided to me, Neil Humphrey's "Notes From an Even Smaller Island" and his sequel a decade later, "Return to a Sexy Island". I know I am fortunate to have a personal guide to hold my hand as I enter not only Singapore for the first time but Asia itself, but still, maybe reading about someone else who has been through a similar experience could give me some perspective.

International Incident in the Works

So like any grand idea, this one came about over copious amounts of alcohol when my two favorite Singaporeans tried to teach me some lessons on Singaporean culture. Long story short, I am a terrible student.

But one of the ideas that came out of this discussion over fruity drinks and beers was for me to write down my experiences in the far east. See I have a sarcastic humor and most people say I'm as lovable as a shovel to the face. The sole reason I'm moving is that the one person in the world who can make my sarcasm alleviate just enough to make me nearly, kind of, sort of, almost seem like a human being is...

...the Singaporean I'm head over heels, crazy in love with.

About a month ago we both found ourselves victims of the recession, out of work, living in an expensive Manhattan apartment, with few job prospects and bills raining down on us like dollar bills on a bachelor party stripper. Worse yet, one of us was facing the end of a work visa that was to expire. Now as an international couple we face a problem most couples do not, one of us was only in this country on the grace and goodwill of the federal government, only as long as they could convince an American company they were worth being hired over a native-born citizen.

After weeks on the prowl like a diabetic in a cupcake store and a dwindling deadline we came to the final decision that the welcoming arms of the Statue of Liberty were not enough to keep us in our home, around our friends, a close but respectable distance from my parents. It came down to the moment where one of us would have to leave the country or become an illegal alien, subject to arrest and an immediate deportation by the INS with those stereotypical unmoved, scowling guards you see in those crappy rom-com movies.

That is until we came to the conclusion that while New York City and the good ole U.S of A could not provide for us, the welcoming, skyscrapers of sunny Singapore possibly could. Singapore, a mecca for immigrants, where one in three people living on this island city-state are foreign-born.

The decision to make a move 9531-miles (15,339- kilometers, damn I have to learn the metric-system!) was a lot easier then you think, the man I love is there which means I'm just a hop, skip and a 23-hour plane ride away! But after the decision was made, the worries started to set in...

Will the Singaporean parents like me?

Will I be able to comprehend Singlish?

Can I survive in a country where it is 86F every day of the year, being so fair that I am nearly transparent? (Seriously I'm so white, put me in front of a lamp and you can see my brain!)

As of yet, I can't answer a single one of those questions.

But over the course of this blog we can figure that out together, the sheltered American white guy in a hot, tropical island country in Southeast Asia.

Here we go!